Homeopathy. Still just water, but now with added genes

Alternative medicine practitioners are proof of evolution. The product changes to suit the times. Obviously, all businesses do that, but some do it responsibly. Others don’t. With that, I give you Homeovitality.

This is wrong on so many levels it’s hard to know where to start. No, it’s not. First: it’s homeopathy. It’s just water, or sugar pills, with any active ingredient diluted beyond existence: a typical homeopathic dilution can be a 1:100 dilution, repeated thirty times. That whooshing sound you heard was the dilution racing past Avogadro’s number. And by the magic of the Law of Infinitesimals, that missing active ingredient gets STRONGER the more dilute it is. Magic indeed.

But Homeovitality exploits another bit of homeopathic magic – the Law of Similars (like cures like), which anyone who’s ever had a hangover will have observed in action if they’ve had another drink when they woke up feeling like death. Unfortunately, all it’s actually done is raise your blood alcohol level to the point where you’re going to have to sober up while awake – a truly grim thought.

In homeopathy, they refer to nosodes. They’re remedies derived from disease substances. So a little bit of cancer cures cancer. Or more specifically, a little bit of ‘carsinosin’ treats cancer. And how do you tell if someone might need carsinosin? Well they might

  • be ambitious
  • want to travel, or
  • love dancing

The filthy, disease-ridden scum.

Homeovitality takes this one step further. Apparently ‘the genetic blueprint contains many genes that promote health as well as many genes that cause disease’. True enough. But ‘the Homeovitality system uses highly diluted DNA molecules with precise sequences to target genes that produce the body’s natural proteins that have been proven to promote health as well as protect against and resolve many diseases’. With water?

Apparently this quackery increases hybrid vigour, because OBVIOUSLY if you ingest foreign genes you become a hybrid, except of course every time you eat something.

You can cure your own cancer with TUMox40  (only 20 pounds 99p) or slow the ageing process with AgeWell for the same price.  And you can become a Homeovitality distributor. Just like Avon, except a cruel fraud.

Or alternatively, you could treat it as the pernicious tripe it is.


Thanks to Phil Kent for the image. Putting the Woo in Woodford.